Farewell

This blog has come to the end of its useful life.  It seemed silly to keep writing Notes from the UP Road, when I'm no longer traveling UP Roads.  At least not for long.  I've created a new blog - if you've been a faithful reader of this one - I thank you.

Check out the new blog - it'll have moving stories (stories about the move, rather than ones that will make you cry, I suspect), house stories, ministry stories, reflections on life and love, really anything that seems worth writing about.  

I hope to be more disciplined about writing there.  Do check it out at:

www.whitemountainmusings.blogspot.com

Peace,

Fran

Reflections on Ministry, Part 4

This is the fourth and final reflection in my series reflection on my time as the Missioner Intern in the Epsicopal Diocese of Northern Michigan. I was having some trouble getting Safari to interface with Blogger, so this one took a while to get up. Remember that it was initially written to the people in Western Region. They are the you I am addressing.

There is one factor that is simply essential to being an effective missioner/ministry developer. Understanding its centrality to the work is the most important lesson I learned in my two years in the Western Region.

Relationships are at the center of the work that we do. In order for a missioner to work effectively with a congregation, there must be a relationship. All the people involved need to build trust. They need to care about one another. They need to know that the relationship is strong enough to withstand disagreement. If the relationship is healthy, anything can happen. Hard truths can be told. Risks can be taken. God’s work can be accomplished.

As I’ve conversed with the congregations that might employ me next, this is the single most important thing I’ve told them: First, we need to get to know one another and build our relationship. Then, we can figure out what the work is that we need to do together.

I want you to know that the relationships that have been built during my time with you are the most important gift I received in the two years that I have been among you. You reached out, shared of yourselves and your stories (and learned about me and my stories), and built the kinds of relationships out of which grow good effective ministry. You didn’t have to do it. We all knew this was likely to be a short-term gig. And yet, you did it anyway.

As I leave this place, my heart and mind are full. Full of love. Full of gratitude. Full of many many memories of the people and congregations I’ve encountered in this place. On the day that I officially transferred into this diocese, Jim Kelsy sent me an email with a subject line that read, “Now you’re a Yooper!” Except, I wasn’t really one, then. However, as much as any girl born and raised out east can be, I am one now. By living among you and being loved by you (and, as I hope you know, loving you in return) I’ve become a Yooper by adoption – and I will carry you with me when I go out from this place.

So, my friends, thank you. Thank you for many wonderful meals, spare beds to sleep in, and great conversations. Thank you for sharing your laughter and your tears. Thank you for encouraging me and challenging me. Thank you for welcoming me into your midst. And finally, thank you for sending me out into the world a far better Missioner/Ministry Developer than I was when I arrived two years ago.

Reflections on Ministry, Part 3

This post is the third in a series of four, reflecting on my two years working as the Ministry Development Intern in the Western Region of the Diocese of Northern Michigan. This week, I decided that it was time to stop being so serious.

For the past two weeks, I've written about the skills I've been developing and about the things I've learned about myself. This week, I thought I would share the conventional wisdom that discovered over the past two years. So, here it is....Fran's Top Ten List of Conventional Missioner/Ministry Developer Wisdom. (Note that some of this is largely personal and some of this is probably good advice for everybody!)

10. Get a good map. The best way to learn my way around a new area is to get a good map and then use it. Repeatedly. I'm still learning shortcuts after 75,000 miles.

9. Get lost on purpose. Sometimes it's a good idea to take the time to drive down a road, just to see where it goes.

8. Audible.com rocks. Driving well between two and three thousand miles per month could be wasted time. The $15 per month cost of an audible.com subscription would be worth it at twice the price. I encountered a number of books that strongly influenced me in the past year, and they were all books that I listened to on my iPod. ("What were they?" you ask. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, and Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortinsen and David Oliver Relin).

7. XM Radio rocks, too. Any device that gives this displaced Boston Red Sox fan access to live Red Sox baseball is worth its weight in gold.

6. ALWAYS carry snacks in the car; make sure that some of those snacks contain protein. Any number of things can happen to change the course of a day, and I am absolutely useless if I am hungry.

5. Remember to eat the snacks. I must eat one of the aforementioned snacks before church every Sunday morning, even if I think I'm not hungry. I recently learned the hard way that it is very difficult to preside and preach when my blood sugar is plummeting rapidly.

4. Make time to read. It took me a while to settle in to a routine. But not reading, for professional development and for fun, is simply not an option.

3. Be early. By now, you might know me well enough to know that being on time is a challenge. (I think that I managed to fool most of you for quite a while, but the above statement is, sadly, true.) However, it's so much better to arrive early - whether it's for a meeting, a service, or lunch. I do whatever I'm doing better when I am not feeling rushed.

2. Just do it. I can be a bit of a procrastinator. (This may qualify as the understatement of the year!) It took me some time to get adjusted to working from home. I also struggle with ambiguous deadlines. The sooner I get a project done, the less I have to worry about it.

1. Snow tires really are better than all season radials in this part of the world. Need I say more?

Reflections on Ministry, Part 2

These reflections are part of my proces of concluding my time as the Ministry Developer Intern. They were originally written for the Western Region's E-Newsletter. The "you" addressed in the reflections are the people of the Western Region, with whom I have lived and worked during the last two years.

Last week, I wrote about some of the particular skills I've worked on, in order to be an effective Missioner/Ministry Developer. This week, I am reflecting on some of the transformation that has taken place within me, as I have lived and worked among you.

I try to hide it, but on the inside I am not always confident. When I first arrived, I felt very shy and unsure of myself. This was a whole new arena for me, and I was afraid that I was not up to the task. Manuel [my supervisor] was terrific. I've told him privately, but let me just say publicly and for the record, that he is the best supervisor I've ever had. He encouraged me to reach beyond what felt comfortable (and frankly, at the beginning, that was just about everything!) and to take risks. When I made mistakes, he didn't give me grief. Instead, he asked me what I'd learned, and how I might do something differently the next time. Learning to ask this question, rather than beat myself up for making a mistake, has changed me.

Manuel's quiet encouragement fostered my own self-confidence. While there are certainly still many moments when I wonder what the right course of action is (and I'll always have those moments!), I've learned to trust my own intuition. If my gut tells me something, I listen and act.

The book of Ecclesiates tells us that there is a season for everything. A time to plant, and a time to reap, a time to mourn and a time to dance, etc. For a missioner, there is a time to be quiet and a time to speak. I've worked hard to learn (and am still learning) what that balance is for myself. Some of this learning about balance comes from my own increased comfort with conflict. In the past, I spent an enormous amount of energy trying to keep everyone I worked with happy. That's neither possible, nor helpful. I've gotten much more comfortable with ambiguity, with uncertainty, and with leaving things unresolved for a time.

All of these personal learnings have helped me to become better at what I do. They enable me to act, without worrying (too much) about whether the action is the right thing.

Reflections on Ministry, Part 1

It's hard to believe that my time in Northern Michigan, serving as the Ministry Developer Intern, is coming to a close. (It might seem more real if I knew where I was going next, but that's a story for another day!) I was asked to write some reflections on my experience, to share with the region and the diocese. I thought I would also post them here. I'll post one per week, as they appear in the Western Region's electronic newsletter. Since I was originally writing them for the people in the region, they are the YOU to whom the reflections are addressed.

These reflections were written so that I might share some of what I have learned during my two years as the Missioner/Ministry Developer Intern in the Western Region of the Episcopal Diocese of Northern Michigan. I’ve learned so many things, that listing them out seems like a daunting task. In the end, I decided to divide up what I’ve learned into four different areas, reflecting a bit on one area each week.

It seems a bit obvious to say it, but one of the most important things I’ve learned is how to be a missioner! Seminary training is generally geared towards those who want to be rectors, so I spent much of my early time in the position trying to reorient myself to a new way of being. I had done some reading about mutual ministry, but that was, of course, no substitute for actually practicing mutual ministry in real congregations with real people. You were very patient!

Teaching is an important part of the job – teaching in sermons, teaching in Ministry Support Team meetings, teaching any time the opportunity comes up. I’ve discovered that many things can be teaching moments. Sharing the benefits of my seminary training with all of you is an important responsibility of the work. You can undertake your ministries most effectively when you have the knowledge that you need.

The people that I work with (that’s all of you!) have a great number of skills and talents (that’s not a surprise – I learned that VERY quickly). However, you don’t always see them. Therefore, another piece of what I have learned is that being a missioner involves being a cheerleader and an encourager.

My position as one who is both inside and outside the congregation gives me some perspective that those of you in the congregation may not have. This perspective allows me to do two things. First, I can help when conflict arises within congregations. And, it enables me to watch the horizon. It’s important that I look ahead, in order to see what’s coming up, and to make sure that you are ready for whatever it is before it gets here.

Another important lesson is that no two congregations are alike. Often, friends will ask me what my job involves. My answer is always that there is no one way to be a missioner. The job requires getting to know each congregation, and then adapting one’s work to fit the needs of that particular group.

I’m still not sure what I’ll be doing next, but I do know, as I’ve begun interviewing for other positions, that the things I’ve learned about being a missioner will serve me well. As I’ve answered questions from congregations about the work I might do with them, I’ve drawn on the things I’ve learned about being an effective missioner. I may go on from here to work with a single congregation as rector, but it’s clear to me that I will be a rector who is first and foremost a ministry developer.

More Wildlife Stories

I know I've been silent here, for a while, but I'm back, hoping to catch up a bit.

Last evening, I had an amazing pair of wildlife sightings, within five minutes of one another.

First, I saw a car pulled over to the side of the road.  I thought it had, perhaps, broken down.  Then, I realized that the driver was looking out into the field beside the car, with binoculars.  So, I pulled over, got out my binoculars, and saw a moose in the field, some distance from the road.  I've seen several moose in the wild in Northern Maine, but this was my first UP moose sighting.  I reveled in it for a few minutes, and then headed on my way.

Just a few miles down the road, I saw what looked like either a black standard poodle or a black sheep running in the road.  I slowed down to avoid hitting it, it crossed in front of me, and leapt onto the rock formation beside the road.  As I passed it, I realized it was a young bear.  I got a very good look at, as it was no more than ten feet from my car.  This was my first bear sighting in the wild, and I was very excited.

When I first arrived, I got pretty excited about the deer and eagles I was seeing.  But, I see deer on virtually every drive (I heard recently that there are far more deer than people up here!).  And, I see eagles quite frequently.  I still find them exciting, but they are pretty common.  So, this pair of critters was pretty thrilling.

Fran's Ordination - the sermon, 2/2

Yup. Here it is. Part two of the ordination sermon.

Fran's ordination sermon 1/2

This is the first half of the sermon that my friend Anne Kirchmier preached at my ordination to the diaconate over two years ago. The setting is Virginia Theological Seminary and the owner of the video camera is Sarah Gordy. The video quality is pretty sketchy, but the audio quality is excellent. And, I must say this is one of the best sermons I've ever had the privilege to hear. Part 2 will appear eventually.

Top 100 Books

I've stolen this list from my friend Suzanne's blog. It's a list of the Top 100 books of all time, as voted by regular folks. I've highlighted it in two ways - the books I read before I graduated from college, versus the books I've read since then.

The pre-college graduation books are highlighted in blue. The post-college ones, in red.

1. 1984 by George Orwell
2. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
3. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
4. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
5. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (I finally read this last year, and thought it was amazing. Thanks to Sister Nancy Hopkins for the push.)
6. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
7. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
8. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
9. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
10. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
11. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
12. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
13. Ulysses by James Joyce
14. Animal Farm by George Orwell
15. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
16. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
17. The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky
18. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
19. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
20. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
21. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
22. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
23. Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes
24. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
25. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
26. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
27. East of Eden by John Steinbeck
28. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
29. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
30. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
31. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
32. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
33. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
34. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
35. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
36. Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
37. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
38. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
39. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
40. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
41. The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
42. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
43. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
44. His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman
45. The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
46. Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
47. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
48. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
49. The Stand by Stephen King
50. A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
51. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
52. Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
53. The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
54. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
55. Watership Down by Richard Adams
56. Dracula by Bram Stoker
57. Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham
58. Moby Dick by Herman Melville
59. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
60. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
61. On the Road by Jack Kerouac
62. The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky
63. Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov
64. Dune by Frank Herbert
65. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver (This is, officially, my favorite book of all time. I'm thrilled that it made the list.)
66. Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling
67. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
68. Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak
69. The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
70. Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon
71. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
72. The Trial by Franz Kafka
73. I, Claudius by Robert Graves
74. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
75. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
76. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
77. A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
78. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
79. To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf
80. Vanity Fair by William Thackeray
81. Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
82. The Stranger by Albert Camus
83. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
84. The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo
85. The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston LeRoux
86. For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway
87. Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
88. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
89. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. Persuasion by Jane Austen
91. Light in August by William Faulkner
92. Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger
93. Call of the Wild by Jack London
94. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
95. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
96. Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
97. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
98. The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
99. The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel
100. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner


So, I've read 35 of them. About 1/3 of the list. And of that 35, only 12 of them, in the last 20 years. Suzanne rather jokingly suggested an online Top 100 book group. We could all read one each month, and then check in with one another about what we think. I'm half-convinced that it's a great idea. Anybody out there game for the idea?

Michigan's Messed-up Primary or Small Town Joys

Perhaps you've heard about the messed-up presidential primary in Michigan.  The State Party Muckety-Mucks, tired of having our ballots cast after all the decisions had already been made, stated that they would move our presidential primary to January 15th.  The National Party Muckety-Mucks, said, "Oh, no," and threatened to penalize the state, should the primary move.  

The primary moved; we've been penalized.  Oh look, cause and effect.  The only candidates who've been campaigning here are Romney, McCain, and Huckabee.  Let's just say that it made for some exciting TV watching this weekend.  NOT.  

It's not yet clear whether any of Michigan's Democratic delegates will be seated at the convention this summer, which is why the candidates aren't bothering to campaign here.  It's also why most Democratic candidates aren't even on the ballot.  And, apparently writing in my choice disqualifies my vote.  So, my limited presidential primary voting options are as follows.  (1) Vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton. She's on the ballot, but she's so not my choice for President.  (2) Vote for Dennis Kucinich.  He's on the ballot, but he's also not my choice (though he's a far sight closer than HRC).  (3) Vote for Uncommitted Delegate. There's absolutely no guarantee that the delegate will support the candidate of my choice, but at least I'm not voting for the candidate NOT of my choice, right?  (4) Say screw it and not vote at all.

To make matters more complicated, I left Ontonagon this afternoon.  Now, what you may not know about me is that I am a committed voter.  I don't skip elections.  I believe deeply that voting is a privilege.  But neither could I couldn't quite justify making an extra 232 mile round trip in order to vote in this debacle.  Especially not to vote for Mr. or Ms. Uncommitted Delegate.  So, this morning, I called the Town Clerk and begged to vote by absentee ballot, which he allowed me to do, about 20 minutes before he closed the office.  I LOVE living in a small town.  

I'm feeling pissed off about the whole situation.  I've been an Obama supporter for over a year now, and I feel ripped off that I didn't get to vote for him.  On the other hand, I did get to exercise my civic duty.  And, I suppose that's really what this is all about.  And, I got to appreciate, yet again, the joys of living in a small town.

A New Year's Meme

1. What did you do in 2007 that you have never done before?

Go on a cruise.  In general, I didn't really expect to like it, and I wasn't wrong about that expectation.  But, I traveled with four women I love (Mom, Anne Kirchmier, Linda Ricketts, and Liz Tunney) and that was terrific and worth all the things about the cruise I didn't care so much about (too many people, too much trying to sell me stuff I didn't want to buy).

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I'm not much for New Year's Resolutions, but I did want to try to live healthier in 2007.  I think I did fairly well in some regards.  Food allergies caused me to give up pop (soda to those of you living elsewhere!) and I've been getting more exercise.  I've vowed to continue this in 2008, as well as to get more in touch with my body.  I've signed up for a Yoga class.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No, though good friends did take in some foster children.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Sadly, yes.  I'm still deeply mourning my friend and bishop Jim Kelsey.  Additionally, Fran Robertson and Larry Livingston in Little Lake.

5. What countries did you visit?

I made several passes through Canada in 2007, and on the cruise, visited Jamaica, the Cayman Islands, Mexico, and the Bahamas, and all those (except Canada) were new to me.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

And end to the war in Iraq.  

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched in your memory, and why?

April 17th - my first date with Michelle; June 3rd - the day that Jim died; November 12th - the day Michelle agreed to spend the rest of her life with me.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I can't think of one thing - but realizing that I had gained the trust and acceptance of the people with whom I live and work.  And hearing one individual telling me that I had exceeded his expectations for what an intern could do was very rewarding.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Rather than thinking of one specific instance - I learned over the course of this year, that I was not always speaking the truth.  Rather, I was deferring to those who seemed wiser or had more experience.  And on several occasions, that led to some disasters down the road, that might have been circumvented, if I'd spoken up in the first place.  Learning to better trust my instincts is one of my goals for 2008.

10. Did you suffer from illness or injury?

I developed migraines this year.  Yuck.  In the midst of trying to sort those out, I discovered food allergies - Dairy and Egg.  Blech.  I love Dairy.  And I love Eggs.  

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I new MacBook - with 2 gig of RAM and a huge hard drive.  YAY!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

My church's, as it took on the Millennium Development Goals with seriousness.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled or depressed?

My country's and my president's.

14. Where did most of your money go?

For gasoline.  Now, I must say, that while this statement is factually true, if I lived anywhere else in the world, even more of my money would have gone for gasoline, so this isn't really a complaint.  It's simply reality.  

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The fact that more and more people seem to coming to an understanding about climate change and our responsibility to do something about it.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

Save the Last Dance for Me

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Happier, Thinner, and Poorer - but I'll take best 2 out of 3.

18. What do you wish you had done more of?

Relaxed.  Read fun novels.  Played.  I spent much of this year working way too hard.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Goofed off on the internet.  Attended meetings.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

With my Mama and with our good friends (and my colleagues) Manuel and Peggy.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?

Yes, and it was absolutely wonderful.  

22. What was your favourite TV program?

I'm not much of a TV watcher, but I take some  delight in watching Ninja Warrior on G-4 and cheering on those who are challenging themselves with that course.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you did not hate at this time last year?

I try very hard not to hate.  It's not an emotion I feel comfortable with.  But there are some people who evoke strong feelings of dislike in me.  When I can, I do try to effect reconciliation. That being said, there is a person I find terribly difficult and whom I avoid at all costs.

24. What was the best book you read?

I read a number of great books.  Certainly Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was wonderful - I read it twice, because it was so good.  I also adored Eat, Pray, Love and A Thousand Splendid Suns.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Michelle turned me on to Joel Plaskett Emergency.  I'm not sure that I'd call them a musical discovery, but I really like them.  And, they have some really rockin' hummin' tunes that you'll find bopping around in your head.

26. What did you want and get?

A wonderful woman to love.  A dog.  A computer that works.

27. What did you want, and not get?

An end to this senseless war.

28. What was your favourite film of this year?

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.  In a more serious vein, I thought that Blood Diamond was wonderful.

29. What did you do for your birthday, and how old were you?

I had dinner with my friend Ginny.  I turned 41.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

This year was actually quite satisfying.  I met the girl of my dreams.  I do work I love.  I enjoy my life on most days.  It's hard for me to imagine one thing whose magical application would make my life immeasurably more satisfying.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Blue jeans.  

32. What kept you sane?

Michelle.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Barak Obama.  But not in that schoolgirl crush kind of  way, which is what the word "fancy" makes me think of. Rather, I believe the man has integrity.  Or, at least as much integrity as you can manage to hold on to and be a political candidate in the year 2008.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Climate change.  Global poverty.  Consumerism.

35. Who did you miss?

Jim Kelsey.  But in terms of those who simply live where I don't get to see them very often, but thankfully get to email, and chat with and see periodically: the residents of Wayfarer House.  

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Michelle - and the very interesting group of people that she hangs out with.   

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.

Life is short and we do not have too much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel the way with us - so make haste to love and be swift to be kind.  This was one of Jim's favourite blessings.  I think it makes good sense.  It's a good idea to make sure that the folks you love know that you love them.  

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"Hey Good lookin' Why the frown? 

It always looks better when it's upside down,

You say you got nowhere that you're going to

Can I go nowhere with you?"

-From "Nowhere with You" by Joel Plaskett Emergency

It was a good year.  But I shed alot of tears, too.  Grief sucks.  And I'm still in the midst of it.  We sang this song alot.  And it always made me laugh, even in the midst of tears.

book pushing

I've been doing a great deal of reading, what else do you do in the winter in the UP.  And actually, some of what I've "read" I've listened to in the car.  For months after Jim died, I didn't have the concentration for audio books; all I could manage was some nice, soothing folk music.  Or loud, pounding rock.  But not a plot of any kind.  

But, thankfully, that's changed.  So, let me make three very different recommendations for your reading pleasure.

(1) A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini.  Set in Afghanistan, this novel spans several generations, and begins sometime in the late 1960s, and ends in the present day.  The writing is clear and concise, the story is gripping, and the characters will grab your heart and break it a few times.  I've not read The Kite Runner, which is Hosseini's first novel (or, perhaps his first one released here?), but it's not on my list.  I listened to this one with a sense of real foreboding.  Tragedy is around every corner in this book, but Hosseini creates such empathy that I really fell in love with the women in his novel.  Additionally, the novel taught me much about Afghanistan.  I know there is a danger about learning about contemporary politics from a novel, but if the novel reflects the contemporary situation in any way, then it's no wonder that the situation there is such a mess.  And, it's no wonder that they have such hatred for Americans.  Read this novel, friends.

(2) Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett.  This novel's been around a while, having been written nearly 20 years ago, though it's getting big press, since Mr. Follett finally released the sequel folks have apparently been begging him to write for years.  I picked it up about a month ago at the airport, when I finished all my work, unexpectedly, and it looked like the least grim in a series of bad airport newsstand choices.  I was so wrong.  It's wonderful.  Follett has written a novel about 12th century England, and the building of a cathedral in the fictional town of Kingsbridge.  It's by turns funny, gripping, and suspenseful.  It's a real commitment, weighing in at nearly 1000 pages, but if you like historical fiction, this one is good, and well written.  And while I am no British historian, it rings true.  It's a real treat.  I don't get to sit and read for pleasure much, and I resent the time I'm away from this one.

(3) Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. This book is some odd combination of travelogue memoir confessional spiritual guide, written by a woman who's about my age.  Liz sets out to spend a year in pursuit of pleasure, God and balance, having survived a brutal divorce followed immediately by another broken heart.  She realizes that she must get her life in order.  So she goes first to Italy to learn Italian (something she has always wanted to do, simply because she finds the language beautiful).  Next she heads to the ashram of her guru in India.  Finally, she goes to Indonesia, where several years previously, she encountered an Indonesian medicine man who tells her to come back sometime and visit him.  

Liz Gilbert reads the audio version herself, which is great, because she's got an ear for accents, and her ability to relay conversations with Richard from Texas or any number of the folks she encounters is worth the price of admission on the audio book.  But the book is worth a read, or a listen, for more than this.  The questions that she raises about life and love, and the energy that she devotes to her spiritual practice put me to shame.  This woman meditates for hours every day.  And she's funny.  Gut splittingly funny.   And poignant.  There were times when I was crying so hard that I might have been dangerous, as I was driving down the road.  There were also times when she was a bit self-absorbed.  But hell, it was her book, so I think she gets the right.  I actually ordered the book tonight.  Because I liked it so much, after listening to it, that I want to read it.  I want to hold it in my hands, and underline things.  I want to write quotes down.

And, I certainly want to encourage some of the people I love to read the book.

Getting Hitched

It's official.  Michelle and I are getting married! Or, in the official lingo of the Episcopal Church (gotta love church politics) we're having our "relationship blessed."  The date is April 18th, which we love, because we're hopeless romantics, and it happens to be exactly a year and a day after our first date.  

And, this picture, posted here, was taken exactly thirty seconds after I asked her and she said yes. (You've got to love the wonders of modern technology - I had a digital camera in my pocket, have a blog, and the whole world - or at least our friends scattered hither and yon - can share our joy!)

So, save the date.  And given our seriously limited financial resources, look for an e-vite coming soon!  

Winter Wonderland

This year, we are finally having a real UP winter. It actually started snowing in November, as it should. I haven't measured yet, but I bet the total snow accumulation is over 75 inches. Presently, at least two feet are on the ground in Houghton, with a bit less in Ontonagon.

The best part, though, is that we've been able to enjoy it. Michelle bought me snowshoes for Christmas, and we've been walking Bird-dog nearly every afternoon after work. And, yesterday, we went cross-country skiing for the first time this winter. It felt great to get out there and move. On Boxing Day (12/26), I drove to Duluth to see my friend Marlene, and even did some snowshoeing over there.

When I was younger, I always thought of winter as this totally desolate time, but what I see now is that it is beautiful. It's a different kind of beauty from the wild and exuberant beauty of summer, for sure, but it is beautiful, nonetheless. The light in the woods yesterday afternoon was simply spectacular, and it took my breath away. We were skiing in the late afternoon, and as it grew closer to dusk, it seemed as though the snow as actually glowing with a kind of pinkish light. It was simply lovely.

Buy cards of Frannie's art!

Michelle did all the research, and found a great site where we can put our art online.  Please check it out.  All you have to do is click on one of these little thumbnails pics, and it will take you right to RedBubble. I know that most of you aren't in a place where you've got tons of cash to spare.  But, I do hope that you'll check out my art.  Some of my favourite pictures are there.  I'm continuing to add work, so keep checking back.

The Year of Magical Thinking

Run, do not walk to your nearest bookstore to pick this one up. 

Joan Didion has been a legend to me, for about 16 years.  At the bookstore, when we hired new staff, we always gave a book quiz.  It separated the run of the mill readers from the literati.  And there were always a few titles on the list that I never expected anyone to know.  Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion was one of them.  

Her new book (relatively - and certainly new to me) tells the story of the year that begin in late December 2003, and ends one year later.  It starts the night her husband, John Gregory Dunne dies of a heart attack, while having dinner.  Simultaneously, their only daughter, Quintana Roo Dunne, just a month younger than I, is struggling for her life.  One health crisis after another consumes her.

And Didion lays it all bare.  She shares the grief.  The magical thinking (like not giving away John's shoes, as he'll need them when he comes back).  The heartache of having to tell her daughter three different times that her father is dead.  (She was in a coma when he died, then she relapsed and forgot, then she had a brain hemorrhage, and lost the information again).

As I continue to struggle with my own grief over Jim's death, and I as I watch the diocese struggle with it's grief, this book spoke to me.  

What are you reading?

This post was totally inspired by Suzanne and I thought it might give you a glimpse of what I'm up to these days. Most of my reading is professional, but I read some fic on the internet, so I am getting some relaxing reading in somewhere.

1. God and Empire: Jesus Against Rome, Then and Now by John Dominic Crossan. A gift from Sare, this one has been on my shelf for months, but I finally picked it up as preparation for a retreat I'm co-leading at the end of the month. Crossan provided a history of the intersection between the Roman empire, the homeland Jews of Jesus' time, and the early church. He undertakes this examination (as I understand it) in order to explore how the contemporary US Govt. acts like an empire (and has for 150 years) and what the implications are for Christian Americans. I think I'm going to love it - the centrality of justice and the need for Christians to work to bring about God's justice and God's kingdom are passions for me.

2. Opening the Prayerbook by Jeffry Lee. Lee, writing this volume as part of the New Church's Teaching Series, examines the history and context of the prayerbook and the theologies that contributed to the 1979 (most recent) Book of Common Prayer. He places many of the prayerbook services in context. I'm reading this one with the Ministry Support Team at the Church of the Holy Innocents in Little Lake.

3. Preaching What We Practice: Proclamation and Moral Discernment by David Schlafer and Timothy F. Sedgwick. I began this book on vacation, before I headed out to spend a week with Tim (the author) and his wife Martha. He'd given it to me last spring (BJD - Before Jim Died) and I didn't read much in those first few months. I wanted to be able to talk about it with him. The book is well-written and makes a strong case for preachers to preach moral discernment, in order to help those in the pews make sense of (and take action regarding) much of what is happening in the US today.

4. The Message: Daily Reading Bible and The Message//Remix by Eugene Peterson. Having not completed absolutely every reading assignment in seminary (I know, you're shocked) I thought it might be time to read the bible again. I got a cool audio version for my iPod, which breaks the bible up into manageable daily reading chunks (though I tend to listen to several at a time). The Message is a contemporary translation by a guy named Eugene Peterson. I'm really enjoying it so far - though I'm only in Genesis....

5. LifeCycles by the LifeCycles Team (of which I am a member, now!). LifeCycles is the adult formation program in the Diocese of Northern Michigan. Two groups I work with are presently working with it. The Ironwood Ministry Support Team began Cycle I, Unit 1 last week, and the Iron River Ministry Support Team returned to LifeCycles after a multi-year hiatus. They are working on Cycle I, Unit 3.

6. Celtic Benediction: Morning and Night Prayer by J. Philip Newell. I'm not so much reading this one as using it for morning prayer (at least I am when I actually find time for morning prayer - true confessions, here!).

7. Blogs. Back BJD, I read blogs really regularly. Not random ones, though that can be fun. But mostly, with a couple of exceptions, the blogs of people I know and love, who live someplace other than here. It's been a way to keep up. To know what they're thinking about and what they're up to. It's one of the routines that simply vanished in the weeks after Jim died. But I'm sort of regaining my equillibrium, and I'm back to blogs. I don't read them every day, but I do try to check in a few times per week. For a list of the blogs I read, see the right sidebar of this blog. I don't know Fr. Jake and I don't know the WTFWJD woman (though I sure wish I did, she's fun) but all the other folks are people I love and miss.

Fall Comes to the UP

I'd forgotten, even though it totally threw me last year. Fall comes fast and early. In Massachusetts (and Virginia, too, I think) August is the hottest month. But here, the autumn arrives swiftly. I'd say that fully half of the trees are turning. And the air is cool. Some leaves have even fallen from the trees. I love the fall, and the cooler air, and the beauty that takes my breath away. But it's always a shock to have the green begin to vanish. And knowing what I know now about how long it will be until they return, I'm feeling a bit melancholy about their early departure.

I LOVE this book

My dear friend Suzanne can always be counted on to find the coolest internet quizzes. I love this quiz, as it speaks to my book-selling and book-loving soul. And how cool is the result? I LOVED Watership Down when I was a tween. I read it several times, and found it captivating. I'm a little nervous about the talking to rabbits part, but I guess I'll go with it.

You're Watership Down!

by Richard Adams

Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd
be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Frannie returns to blogland

I know I've been pretty quiet in the last eight weeks. All I can say is that it's been a long road. Grief is so energy-sapping. And the work left to do has been all-consuming. But I am starting to see some light and to feel more like myself again, both of which are very good things.

Warning: This part contains spoilers for Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince (Book 6) - do not read if you don't want to know serious plot details:
In news that won't ber a surprise to those who know me, I've been reading Harry Potter this week. I began by re-reading The Halfblood Prince (Book 6). I was struck, at the end of the book, after Dumbledore is murdered, by how well J.K. Rowling wrote grief. I really resonated with how the staff and students at Hogwarts responded to the news of Dumbledore's death. Her descriptions of the pain, the confusion, and the denial, all rang so true to me.

There are a number of reasons why Harry Potter has become such a phenomenon and I'm not going to expound on them all. The reason that interests me, in this post, has to do with how well she captures the human condition. Her characterizations, her descriptions, and the ways that these characters respond ring true to me. Rowling gets it. And she writes it well.

I've got some backlogged things that I'll be posting in the next few days. I've got a few sermons that I've written in the time I've been away from my blog that I'd love to share. And I have a very long piece that I wrote for our Junior/Senior Camp for a talk that I gave there (that Jim was to have given) on friendship that I want to post, as well.

Thanks for checking back, despite the lack of new postings in such a long period of time.